LEFT LANE GANG

05/06/2026

Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence,a 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the Gwinntt County (Georgia) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from drinking with his buddies when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate for his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached the side of his car.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ..
'I said: "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having s*x with a pumpkin??"
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said: "A pumpkin?
S**t, is it midnight already?" ~ Doc Blackmon

02/06/2026

A little 80 year old lady had always wanted to join a local bikers club.

One day she goes up and knocks on a biker's door. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She proclaims, "I want to join your club."

The guy was quite amused, but says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join he explains. The biker asks; "Do you have motorcycle?

The little old lady replies, "Yep, my bike's parked over there and points to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.

The biker asks, "Do you drink?"

The little old lady replies, "Yep, drink like a fish. I'll drink everyone in your club under the table."

The biker asks, "Do you smoke?"

The little old lady replies, "Yep, smoke like a chimney. At least 2 packs of ci******es and three joints a day and a couple more in the evening, while I'm shooting pool."

The biker is very impressed and asks, "Last question, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope, but I've been swung around by my ni***es a few times! ~ Doc Blackmon

31/05/2026

~ Doc Blackmon

31/05/2026

A Prime Driver from Oklahoma City Andy Wilson (Known on the cb radio as 'Turbo Lips'), is posting on social media about a shocking encounter he had with a Parking Lot Hostess at the Oklahoma City Petro.
Wilson posted saying that while stopping at the Petro in his personal vehicle just to hang out, he spotted a young lady standing at the entrance to the truck parking lot and thought she might be hungry, so he invited her to join him for dinner.
The young lady, Parking Lot Hostess Amber Simpson readily agreed.

Wilson says
"she was down to earth, funny, and really seemed to like that I was a truckdriver". "Everything was going great until our food arrived. She had ordered the biggest sausage available, and instead of using a knife and a fork, she just grabbed it up barehanded. I thought she must be really hungry if she didn’t mind getting her hands so dirty".

He says
"what really got me was that she ate the whole thing in like 2 bites and made eye contact with me the whole time. Needless to say, what she did to that sausage made me super uncomfortable".

He added
"I’m not sure what she was trying to accomplish here, maybe just a free meal, but let me tell you that there will be no second meal. Her behavior seemed like something I had only hoped to see at one of the up and coming 'pride parties', not out in public in the middle of dinner.

Wilson goes on to say
"Obviously, I could never take this type of person home to meet my parents. I wasn’t rude about it. I let her finish and stayed polite until I dropped her back off at the parking lot entrance.

He finished by saying
"Let this be a lesson for me to be more careful and maybe just take a hungry person inside the truckstop for a roller dog next time. ~ Doc Blackmon

28/05/2026

~ Doc Blackmon

28/05/2026

Eddie is one of the finest old school fellas I've ever met in my 61 years on earth. He's about to turn 88 years old, still truckin full time. Everytime I run into him at a plant he insists on giving me something, its always his latest cool swag. I feel bad because I don't have anything with me to give him except food. Most everybody carries enough food to survive on but when I first met him, the plant was brokedown and he caught me sharing a bucket of KFC with a couple of drivers who didn't have anything, been buddies ever since. I'm thinkin he really, really likes KFC. ~ Doc Blackmon

24/05/2026

As much heat as Swift gets ( and I'm as guilty as anybody) this guy deserves to be spotlighted.
I've always said that even Swift has their good ones but they've gotten so big the good ones are invisible. Well done fella. ~ Doc Blackmon

Swift Driver Hits 3 Million Safe Miles After 30 Years — Wife Rides Every Mile With Him, Has Been to 48 States and Canada; 'When I Retire, I'm Going to Do It Again in My Motorhome'

A Swift Transportation driver known as much for his legendary hair as his legendary safety record reached a major milestone at the company's 2026 Million Mile Event — three million safe miles behind the wheel over a 30-year career.

Brian B. attended the event to be recognized as a new 3 Million Mile driver, joining one of trucking's most exclusive clubs. When asked about the secret to his success, Brian kept it simple. "Great equipment, great support team to allow me to drive one safe mile at a time," he said.

Brian's wife and travel partner Lorraine rides with him, and the two are described by colleagues as a true dynamic duo who share a genuine love for life on the road. His walk-up song at the Million Mile Event was Willie Nelson's "On the Road Again" — a fitting choice for a man who has no intention of slowing down.

"I love driving! I've been to 48 states and Canada. When I retire, I'm going to do it again in my motorhome!" Brian said.

Congratulations, Brian and Lorraine.

22/05/2026

A family decided to try a nudist camping resort for a cheap vacation:
On their first day there their young son went off to explore the site.
Some time later he came back to the tent and said,
"Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls."
"They've got these HUGE..."
"Yes, well." His mother snaps. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman."
Next day the boy comes back to the tent again.
"Mom, You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there."
"They have these HUGE..."
"Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man." Says his mother.
"Really?" The boy said, frowning and looking puzzled. "Well it looks like we might be in trouble then, Mom."
"Why, honey?" Asks his mom.
"Because Dad's out there talking to a really dumb girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute." ~ Doc Blackmon