18/01/2023
A SLIPPERY SLOPE
I just delivered a rustic desk to a location in Tennessee. As you might anticipate, it was rather hilly and rather rural. Previously, the buyer, a great guy named Justin, had advised me to not attempt to go down his driveway in my truck, so he offered to meet me at the top of his driveway.
Once I climbed the hill on Merry Log, I wove my way around hills, curves, dead deer and ditches. Finally I found his driveway and his truck. Actually, a blind man could have found his truck, because it had some kind of lights in the back which were just this side of a nuclear blast when it came to brightness. I honestly had no idea what I was looking at. It had all the makings of the alien craft from "Close Encounters."
I had to park the truck sideways since we had to use the right side door to unload. I know I've mentioned that the road was steep, but I need you to appreciate just how steep. In the movie "Black Sheep," Chris Farley and David Spade are hanging out in a cabin which had been smacked by a rolling boulder. After that, the incline was ridiculous. That's how steep it was.
Once we got things moved and the desk placed in the back of his truck, I needed to climb back up to my truck to rearrange things and close the door. Then I had to jump down. Justin warned me to fall forward, but I just landed straight up, first on my feet and then instantly on my left elbow and all of my butt. Even though it was just the two of us out in the middle of nowhere, the first thing I did was to make sure no one saw me.
After all of that, it was time to get back up to the main street. I had to be careful with trees to my left and a $1,500 crane lift bill on my right. Justin used a light and a loud voice to guide me back up Everest. A few minutes and some flop sweat later, I was good to go.
Not every delivery is on a cul de sac, or a big drive, or some big lot in which to maneuver. Sometimes you are in a downtown location and you have to make a parking space.
And sometimes it's on a hill that wants to turn your automatic transmission into a manual one.