06/18/2025
On the eve of our return to the U.S. after more than a year abroad, it feels like the right time to share some reflections. Did we achieve the goals we set for this adventure? I’ve gone back to each of our original intentions and given us a grade. Here’s the report card:
More Independence:
One of our hopes was that this trip would foster greater independence in the kids. Back home, we live in an area where they can’t freely roam the neighborhood, and yes, we fully own that we lean a bit “helicopter-y” in our parenting. This year was supposed to give them space to flex their independence muscles.
To a degree, it worked—though not quite as much as I had envisioned. What I hadn’t fully appreciated going into this was just how introverted all three kids are. Tasks I thought would be simple—like going to the bathroom alone at a restaurant—were at times major hurdles. Over the course of the year, they did grow: all became comfortable ordering food (often in languages they barely knew), using the bathroom unaccompanied, and in a few cases, Ryan even ventured out with friends on his own in several cities. But overall, they remained fairly dependent on mom and dad.
Yes, I realize our youngest is only 8, but I had hoped for a bit more progress on the independence front. That said, I’ve had to recalibrate my expectations and recognize that my kids are simply wired differently than I am. For them, many of these “independent” tasks involve stepping outside their comfort zones in ways that aren’t always easy.
Grade: C+
Don’t Fall Behind Academically:
We were nervous about pulling the kids out of traditional school settings, worried it might slow their academic development. And to be honest, roadschooling was often more challenging for us as parent-teachers than for them as students. But the results have been encouraging.
According to the assessment tests from the Pathways Charter program, both Ryan and Finley are performing well above grade level in Math and English Language Arts (ELA). Austen is also ahead in ELA and only slightly below in Math, which we’re quite happy with, especially in light of her recent Dupe15q diagnosis.
Grade: A
Become Global Citizens:
This goal feels like a home run. If being a global citizen means feeling connected to humanity as a whole—not just to one’s own country or culture—and embracing diverse values, traditions, and perspectives, then our kids are well on their way. It’s deeply rewarding to hear them reference different countries, religions, languages, and cultures in casual conversation, weaving their experiences into how they view the world.
Grade: A+
Appreciate That Not All People Have the Advantages We Do:
Throughout our travels, the kids had many opportunities to witness lives very different from their own. They saw children and families living in challenging circumstances, and they noticed how often people appeared genuinely happy despite having far fewer material comforts. At the same time, Ryan (especially) was quick to point out that in some places, people seemed to enjoy a higher standard of living than we do. Have they gained a deeper appreciation for what they have at home? Hopefully—but time will tell.
Grade: B
A Country Changed
On another note, the U.S. feels very different than the one we left behind. It doesn’t quite feel like the same country anymore. From afar, we’ve been watching the news, scrolling through social media, and trying our best to absorb perspectives from both the left and the right. And while I’ve come to better understand some of the frustrations fueling both extremes, I can’t help but feel a profound sadness—and if I’m being fully honest, anger—about the state of things.
I’ve spent a lot of time abroad over the years, and being American used to fill me with pride. More often now, it feels like a source of embarrassment. We’ll see how it feels once we’re back—and whether there’s any role we can play in helping steer things, even in a small way, toward something better.
