23/01/2026
Absolutely this 🤪❣️https://www.facebook.com/share/186MQw8YWo/
I accidentally replaced executive functioning with a 🐎.
Having horses when you’re neurodivergent is basically running a very high-budget wellbeing retreat for yourself and only realising halfway through the year when you're seemingly bankrupt.
You think you’re buying a horse........
What you actually buy is an external hard drive for your nervous system.
People love to say horses need routine.
Mine seem perfectly content with ✨vibes✨.
I arrive at wildly inconsistent times like a feral yard goblin and they’re just like,
“Yes. This version of you. We remember.” ⏰🧌
Executive dysfunction is a funny one.
Emails? Ignored for weeks.
A horse staring at you like you’ve personally betrayed them by stopping at three carrots when they know there’s a fourth?
Immediate action. No delays....must provide happiness for giant creature. 👁️🌾
When everything feels too loud, the phone is unbearable and people are… people…
a horse chewing hay is apparently the exact frequency my brain has been searching for. 🙏
The mental buffering wheel finally disappears. 📵🌾
Social battery flat? Perfect.
Horses don’t do small talk.
They’ll stand with you in silence and call it a meaningful interaction. Absolute dream. 🤝 SIGN ME UP.
Hyperfocus sneaks up quietly.
You pop down to “just check them”.
It’s now dark. You’re muddy.
And you’re conducting a full emotional audit of saddle pads and bags of items that once had a purpose. 🔦🫠
And emotional regulation?
They clock your internal chaos before you’ve even turned the engine off.
No judgement.
They just calmly refuse to cooperate until you stop spiralling.
Strong boundaries. Iconic behaviour. 👑
Masking doesn’t land either.
They see straight through it.
“Please stop pretending you’re fine. I can smell the cortisol.” 👃😐
They don’t care if your life’s a mess.
They don’t care if you’re late.
They don’t care if WhatsApp hasn’t seen you for three days.
They care that you show up.
That you’re kind.
And that the hay eventually arrives. 🌾💛
It’s connection.
And that’s exactly what our brains needed all along. 🧠
This concludes today’s wellness retreat. Please exit via the muddy gate.
Thats £3849594 please 🙏
🐴✨