30/08/2018
REST IN PEACE, LOYAL FRIEND—This morning, on August 29th, 2018, one of our most loyal stewards of the Southlake Police Department, ORANGE CONE, was run over and crushed by an unknown suspect, as his four other cone co-workers watched in frozen horror.
O. Cone’s sole duty had been to help guide parents dropping off their students, and to prevent them from parking in the fire lane (which as you may have heard, is kind of a big deal). In O. Cone’s final breath, he exhaled, “remember that cones are considered traffic control devices and you could be cited for disregarding them.” Even at the end, he wanted to protect us. Please drive safely and where you are supposed to, ESPECIALLY at schools.
O. Cone leaves behind three cone kids, which are basically those little cones you buy when you want to set up a soccer field in your back yard, but didn’t want to splurge for actual soccer nets. You know what I’m talking about.
Drive safe.
