07/09/2017
Recent studies have shown that statistically at exactly 37 points in time and space in all 12 parallel universes that an average of 56% of 10 out of every 4,368,431,602 people are constantly wondering who in the flying f**k are WÄRHËÄDWÏNG? What have they got against the syndicated radio stations overwhelming desire to play polished country pop? You know the kind where men from places like Moneyflerp and Ballymagulp sing about riding a pickup truck across Route 66 having never been past the Applegreen on the M2. Why do WHW dress only in black Primark Essentials crewnecks? Do they believe in a God? Do any Gods believe in them? Did they actually drink a Thompson Holidays cruise ship dry in '92 with Boris Yeltsin and Ian Rush?
Did frontman Hog D'Rémote turn down a lucrative UTV newscaster job in 1996?
Was guitarist, Skratch Mibbaws addicted to Crystal Maze? Are the rumours that WHW drumming legend, Reece Eichelbyn bowled a perfect game while high on Toilet Duck and Babycham true? Did the disappearance and then subsequent reappearance of bassist P. Thabed in 1985 have anything to do with the rise and fall of the in-car toasted sandwich machine?
WÄRHËÄDWÏNG were founded in the DeLorean factory canteen in Belfast in 1984 and then disbanded under the Dangerous Goods Act of 1989 after 5 critically acclaimed albums, two Knebworth headline shows and a record 46 nights at Japan's legendary Budokan. They're now back more WÄRHËÄDWÏNG'd than ever with their politically charged power-metal sixth studio album 'Wëstërn Wärhëäds Övër Störmönt.'
WÄRHËÄDWÏNG have written a powerful catalogue of songs about ancient alien abductions being thwarted by wrestlers ('Beam Me Up, Scotty 2 Hotty'), the price of parking underground in Victoria Square ('Audi Taking Up Two Spaces') and mythical feasts like the last sandwich enjoyed by Elvis ('Burger King Coronary Infarction') as well as their much loved 1986 Christmas duet with Van Morrison 'Are We Putting Up This Bastard Tree (Today or Tomorrow?).'
WÄRHËÄDWÏNG will be playing all these classics as well some new crowd pleasers at a volume that will de-clog the bogs and a tempo that will have ardent headbangers in a neckbrace claiming damages the next morning.
