16/04/2020
I was bored today and thought about taking one of my boats out for a cruise. However, this would have been irresponsible so I contented myself with sitting back with a glass of wine and reliving a couple of epic journeys I have undertaken over the past 15 years or so.
If you have time to read this, and let's face it, you have bu**er all else to do at the moment, I will recount some of my adventures to you.
About 11 years ago I needed to bring a 45 ft narrowboat from Farncombe boathouse on the river Wey to Bath. All went well until I reached the Thames. In those days I was not familiar with the Thames and I took a wrong turn. 35 minutes later I arrived at a lock. The very pleasant and cheerful lock keeper asked where I was heading. When I replied that I was heading towards Reading and then Bath, I knew there was something wrong when he doubled up and began emitting strangled gasps of laughter. Eventually he managed to say "You're going the wrong way. This is Sunbury lock. Turn round and go back to Shepperton. " I was quite grateful that he didn't add "you f....wit."
Have you ever felt like just diving in and drowning yourself?
Anyway, all then went well until I reached Devizes. Just before I set off on this journey a very dear friend of mine had died in Bath. I was determined to attend the funeral so I took with me suitable clothes and decided that wherever I was on the day of the funeral I would get a bus or train back to Bath. I was notified that the funeral would be on a Thursday so on the Wednesday evening I tied up on Devizes wharf. The following morning I showered and dressed in a black suit, white shirt, black tie and a black Italian mohair overcoat and was just about to leave the boat when there was a knock on the door. It was a BWB guy who said "You are not displaying a licence. " I explained that I did have a licence but being in transit I had not been able to display it. He checked this out and said "Ok. But can I ask why you are dressed as you are? It's somewhat unusual for a boat." I told him that I was going to a funeral. He asked "Whose funeral?" I replied "Yours." That's the fastest I have ever seen a BWB guy run.
Apart from the funeral, those were happy days. I knew little and cared even less.
If anyone is interested there is an even more epic journey from the Hertfordshire Union canal to Bath which I could recount. On that one I set a record for single handed navigation from Teddington to Reading.
Stay safe everybody and try to keep smiling.