Chico & Nacho's Epic Road Trip to Greece

21/10/2024

08/11/2022

The Return Day 6
Hello hoomans Nacho here. Our last night at a very nice house in Denia was as uneventful as a nun’s knickers 😜. The hoomans after a very long drive from Avig Non decided that they would stay in.
They heated up their dinner of chicken and roast potatoes and I’m very pleased to say that both hoomans shared it with us, we ate sooo much chicken we were clucking by the end of the night.
You’d think that because of the long drive that the hoomans did, they want an early ish night, but nooo, they decided to drink Tinto de Verano con Limón 🍋 and stay up and watch “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” which meant us pooches had to endure it too and we didn’t get to bed until 11.30pm we were exhausted and prayed that we’d get a long lie in this morning. However that hope was not to transpire because yet again we were up by 6.45am. Both Chico and I are thinking of reporting the hoomans to the Are (our) Rights Should Ensure Sleep group or ARSES for short, for cruelty , given that we don’t get enough sleep 😴
Of course given that we were up early, this meant that we were dragged onto the cold streets of Denia for our morning ablutions, but the hoomans had a surprise in store for us because although we were walking the streets, said streets eventually led us to a fabulous deserted beach. I charged down to the water but quickly retreated when the water tried to get me 😂 even Chico, who doesn’t normally like water, came quite close to the waters edge and we had such fun running up and down the beach. It was a good walk and we were begrudgingly happy that we’d been woken up early.
Once the hoomans had showered and dressed we were put into the mechanical beast for the final leg of our Epic Road Trip. Chico was initially in the back with me but after we’d stopped for breakfast, which may I add, we had to watch from the beast whilst the hoomans ate without us, RUDE…anyway as we set off again Chico decided he was going to become the Tasmanian devil again so hooman mum had to put him on her knee, he is such a diva and I didn’t care because it meant I got the back seat all to myself.
This continued after the hoomans swapped over driving an hour or so later so yet again I had the back seat all to myself and Chico sat on hooman aunty Karen’s knee all the way home. About 30 kms from home hooman aunty Karen declared that Chico’s head smelt of chicken noodle soup and thrust his head under hooman mum’s nose (don’t worry we were stuck in a traffic jam so were not moving). All she said was he smells of sweaty chihuahua. Chico did not seem impressed and strarted to lick hooman mum’s pillow in revenge. There is now a lovely big damp patch on the pillow 😂. Realising that Chico was probably a little thirsty, hooman aunty Karen thought it would be a top notch idea to put a little bit of water in the lid of the water bottle but whoop die the mechanical beast jolted and the water gushed out of the bottle drenching Chico, hooman aunty Karen and hooman mums pillow. Aunty Karen declared “oh my god that’s gone down to my knickers, I’m soaked” oh how we all laughed.
We arrived back in Tolox and stopped by the big Tolox sign for a photo shoot and then made our way to our house. We were so pleased to see our home after 24 days away, nearly 7,500km travelled on our Epic Road Trip.
Well hoomans we’ve arrived home so it means this is the end of our blog. I would like to say on behalf of myself, Chico and the hoomans thank you for following the daily chronicles of our Epic Road Trip to Greece and The Return Home and we hope you really enjoyed the trials and tribulations that the trip involved.
Hooman mum has sworn never ever again, EVER. She said next time she going by the big mechanical flying beast and hooman aunty Karen agreed.
Once again thank you and goodbye 👋
Nacho & Chico ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

07/11/2022

The Return Day 5
A little mention about last night. The place we were staying at was a renovated flat in an old hotel. There were a few flats within the building. Ours was lovely but a little spooky 👻. Hooman mum came back from the outside just as it was getting dark and declared that there were no lights by the stairs and in the courtyard and it was really scary. So, the next time hooman mum entered the flat, hooman aunty Karen thought it would be hilarious to jump out on her, hooman mum nearly p**ped herself and tried to kick hooman aunty Karen, who was creased up with laughter, hooman mum swore vengeance. Not 20 minutes later hooman mum went to the loo 🚽 so hooman aunty Karen hid in the room next to the bathroom and as hooman mum exited to loo, hooman aunty Karen jumped out on her again, hooman mum screamed and many swear words flew from her mouth and again she swore vengeance. Little side note, vengeance has not yet been sort so hooman aunty Karen is on high alert for when it may happen 😆 Later last night once hooman mum had gone to bed, Nacho was lay on the bed with her and he suddenly started to bark and sat at the end of the bed staring intently at the red wardrobe, this of course spooked hooman mum who shouted at Nacho to stop and get back to sleep, this he did but 5 minutes later he did exactly the same, hooman mum p**ped herself again but was too scared to get out of bed to find out what Nacho was staring at and lay there terrified. 😂
Everything eventually settled down and we all got to sleep.
At the godforesaken hour of 6.30am the hoomans took us for a freezing cold walk to see some bridge that wasn’t even finished, someone please tell us the point of a bridge that stops over the River Rhone and you can’t get anywhere on it, so annoying to be woken up early and dragged to a bridge you can’t cross, that was a bridge too short 😂
We then we’re taken to the mechanical beast to travel to our next stopover in a town called Denia in Spain. This was to be our longest trip yet, just over 10 hours in the car. The hoomans decided that they would drive in 2 hour stints and during one of hooman aunty Karen’s stint, hooman mum asked how many Cheetos she could get in her mouth so hooman aunty Karen showed her, see photo for the result. It was very funny because every time hooman aunty Karen spoke or laughed she sprayed Cheetos dust everywhere. On another of hooman aunty Karen stint’s hooman mum decided to have a Power Nap in preparation for her next stint and checked that hooman aunty Karen was ok and said if she gets tired to pull over to which hooman aunty Karen said “no worries or if I hit the barrier that may be a hint that I’m tired” 😂 Don’t worry she didn’t hit any barriers.
With about 90 minutes left of the journey hooman mum took over and Nacho and I were put back in the car after our p*e time and I decided that I would assert my dominance over my brother and normally I growl at him and he capitulates but can you believe that this time he had the audacity to growl and snap at me, so that was it, we went totally mental at each other, there was fur flying everywhere and it took the hoomans to prise us apart. I was put on hooman aunty Karen’s knee, however I continued to exert my dominance by growling at absolutely nothing. I am the superior dog 🐶
About 40 minutes from the end of the journey, hooman aunty Karen took a photo of them both not realising the flash was on and there was a huge blinding light in the car and both of them were blinded temporarily but they’re ok as are we.
We finally arrived at our home for tonight and it is delightful. We are looking forward to getting our heads down.
Tomorrow is the final leg of our journey, our home in Tolox is calling our names so until tomorrow hoomans…
Buenos noches y hasta mañana
Chico & Nacho

06/11/2022

The Return Day 4
Well yet again we were up at the crack of dawn (poor Dawn) for our ablutions. Nacho couldn’t wait and p*e’d inside the outer door 😂.
The hoomans then quickly showered and we were then on the road to Monica Co. On the way we had a quick stop at a Lidl so that our hoomans could obtain dinner for tonight because apparently the French close everything down proper early and it’s a nightmare feeding, thank goodness the hoomans have our food sorted, who cares about them 😜
As we left Lidl’s hooman mum had bought herself a drink made of pure ginger, lemon and apple, unfortunately she forgot to shake the can so when she started drinking it, it was pure ginger that assaulted her mouth, there were screams of “oh my god, my tonsils are on fire 🔥, hooman aunty Karen was p*eing herself and trying not to drive off one of the many, many viaducts that the mechanical beast was driving over. We too were sniggering into our paws 🐾
We soon arrived at the outskirts of Monica Co and began the descent down the very windy roads. It was at this point that hooman aunty Karen lost her s**t, to be far Tom Tara was crap today and kept telling her the wrong way to go, which resulted in hooman aunty Karen having to do a U-turn on a tight road with all the Ferrari’s, Bentleys and Porches having to wait for her to sort herself out. This happened twice and by the time the mechanical beast was parked up, hooman aunty Karen was sweating from every or***ce possible declaring “that was fu***ng horrendous and thank f**k you’re driving out of Monica Co 🇲🇨 “ causing hooman mum to declare “no worries and I don’t know why you get so stressed you muppet”.
We then spent a lovely hour or so walking round Monica Co and I took a huge p**p 💩 right outside the casino 😂
We had our photo taken many times with the hoomans, and I think we need to start charging them for our time, especially when one of the photos was with a statue of a naked fat woman and fat man and let met me tell you people there was nothing that wasn’t on show, sooo rude, we think the man’s w***y had been touched a lot because it was very shiny compared to his body. We had to cover our eyes with our paws 🐾 😜
Back at the mechanical beast hooman aunty Karen sat gleefully in the passenger seat rubbing her hands together at the thought of hooman mum negotiating the streets of Monica Co trying to get out, so you can all imagine her immense displeasure when the route out was so easy and in 5 minutes or so hooman mum was on the moto way like hot snot of a chickens lip.
The rest of the journey on the moto way was uneventful and we have arrived at our very nice place of rest. It is very French.
Tomorrow we are going to visit a famous bridge called Pont d’avignon 🤷‍♂️ ooh we can’t wait 😜 there’s a song about the bridge too.

Donc jusqu'à demain les humains, google it if you don’t know what we multi lingual dogs have just said
Au revoir
Chico & Nacho 🐾

05/11/2022

The Return Day 3
Last night hooman mum kicked me out of the bedroom and I don’t know why, Nacho got to stay with her but not me!!! She put me in with hooman aunty Karen, which was nice because she wrapped me in her hoodie, but I did sit at the end of the bed looking forlornly at the door in the hope that hooman mum would come and get me, she didn’t!!! Eventually I fell asleep 😴 on hooman aunty Karen’s bed until this morning when, yes you’ve guessed it, the hoomans got us up really early for p**pies, what is wrong with them? They are a frikkin nightmare!!!
After the hoomans had showered we were put into the mechanical beast and hooman aunty Karen manoeuvred us out of the tightest parking spot ever and took us into the centre of Rome to go and see the Colin Museum. That was the biggest ring we’ve ever seen and we had many p*e’s up against it. Don’t know where the museum came into it though 🤷‍♂️. After Colin’s museum hooman aunty Karen and I had our photo taken with a model and we looked magnificent. Onwards then to Trevor’s fountain, Nacho was quite upset because he wasn’t allowed to go and jump in it, I wasn’t bothered because I don’t like water. Don’t know who Trevor is, but his fountain is pretty impressive. The hoomans took pics of his fountain with us and then they both threw money in it…what the hell!!! If I had opposable thumbs I’d have been in there getting the money back, water or no water 💦 😂. After that there was talk of going to the Bat Can City to see Pop but the hoomans decided against it because they had to get us all to Genny Oas’s place for our next sleepies.
Given that we’re currently traversing Italy this of course means those pesky road tunnels again and one in particular was referred to hooman mum as “cor this is a long black one” causing much sniggering from hooman aunty Karen 😜🥸. In one of the tunnels we saw a mechanical bikey beast with smiley face lights, bit scary 😟
When we reached Genny’s Oa Tom Tara was directing the mechanical beast supposedly to the resting place for this evening and hooman mum was dutifully following her instructions and all was going well…what alerted the hoomans to the fact that Tom Tara was a tit was when the security guards that stopped us asked “tickets please” and both hoomans shouted no!!! After some broken Italian on our hoomans part we established we were at the ferry port and the guard pointed us in the right direction. We eventually reached where we were staying and after parking up the car the hoomans took us to our temporary digs for tonight. There’s a submarine outside the window…how cool.
The hoomans took us for a trot along the promenade for p*e p*e’s and now we are back inside and the hoomans have gone for dinner.
Tomorrow apparently we are briefly visiting Monica Co. before our onward journey to Avig Non.
Sleep well hoomans until tomorrow
Chico & Nacho 😘💩

04/11/2022

The Return Day 2
Saluti a tutti voi umani, or greetings to all you hoomans that don’t speaky da lingo. We left you last night waiting to board the watery beast which I’ll come on to shortly but first let’s tell you about the mechanical beast that was in front of us, a Ford Vignale (🤔 🤷) the hooman man was in and out of that car like a fart in a colander, we think he had a problem with his electrics because at one point his rear lights were flashing on and off like disco lights, he had the bonnet up then down, then up again and back down and he had no clue as to what to do. It became apparent to our hoomans that his mechanical beast was fooked and their main concern then became, did they have enough room to get out from behind him to board the watery beast, turns out they did and last we saw was the hooman man sat forlornly in his broken beast as every other hooman there drove past him. Our hoomans did say they felt sorry for him but continued on their way to board the watery beast.
That then became their focus because it turns out that hooman man that works at watery beast port can’t organise a p**s up in a brewery, there were huge mechanical beasts flying left right and centre boarding the watery beast, some were even reversing on and in amongst the mayhem were our hoomans trying to get our mechanical beast on without being squashed between the huge beasts. It was achieved with massive outtakes of breaths and that was just from me and Chico 😝
The journey from mechanical beast to our palatial cabin was relatively stress free but I was a little anxious which meant when I was trying to get to sleep next to hooman mum she didn’t understand that I needed to be next to her but nooo just because she has hot flashes that takes precedence over my nerves.
Apparently the hoomans didn’t sleep well at all but Chico and I slept very well, Chico was even snoring 😴.
When the hoomans and ourselves were kicked out of the palatial cabin they took us to p*e on the upper outside deck but Chico was very scared and took solace in hooman aunty Karen’s bosom under her hoodie.
Our disembarkation proved just as stressful and the Greeks have obviously taught the Italians how not to disembark mechanical beasts from the watery beasts. ‘Twas carnage. Two ships, docked at the same time plus right next to each other equals utter fu***ng mayhem.
Once hooman aunty Karen had navigated through the s**t show we were able to all p*e and p**p 💩. Hooman mum returned from her ablutions slighty wet, it turns out when she was washing her hands the water shot out of the sink drenching her from the waist down. Oh how we laughed because it looked like she’d p*e’d herself. One quick change of clothes later and we were on our way to Rome. Hooman aunty Karen’s stint at the wheel proved uneventful other than when we stopped for the changeover and there was water hitting the mechanical beast’s glass area and the hoomans dragged us from the warmth of our snuggly blankie into the cold wet outside to p*e.
Back on the road and hooman mum’s stint started of smoothly and uneventful and then something so monumental happened that had both hoomans screaming 😱 so loudly it woke us up. There was lights flashing across the sky and the white fluffs in the sky had turned black and there was much water falling from the fluffs. At one point I think we may have been water skiing ⛷️ All the mechanical beasts (except for the crazy ones) were driving very slowly with their winkies flashing. Hooman mum kept letting out involuntary screams which kept scaring hooman aunty Karen. Both hoomans declared it was butt clenchingley scary.
The weather finally eased off and the rest of the journey to Rome was fairly relaxed.
However once we started the drive into the centre of Rome things changed…hooman aunty Karen exclaimed to hooman mum “who is daft enough to book a B&B in the centre of Rome and travel in to said centre during rush hour?” Hooman mum looked quite sheepish 😂
We have now ensconced ourselves in the beautiful apartment and have had our din dins and the hoomans, being sleep deprived from the trip in the watery beast, have declared that they’re not moving again tonight other than to walk with us for our final p**pies before bed time.
Apparently tomorrow we’re going to Colin’s museum, Trevor’s fountain and some bat can city to see Pop. Not sure how we’ll see Pop because he’s in Greek land is he not.

fino a domani hoomans
Nacho & Chico

03/11/2022

The Return Day 1
Hi everyone, Chico here…
Can I just say that yesterday a strange dog appeared in the mechanical beast, he looked very similar to Nacho but all his hair had gone. Well, being the guard dog that I am, I had to defend the mechanical beast and my lovely hoomans. The fight was epic, I growled ever so loudly at the strange dog and I think he p**ped himself a little. I was elated at my ferociousness. Strange though, the dog is still here so I have chosen to be the bigger dog and accept him and in keeping with our blog I have decided to call him Nacho.
On to today, our return travel day and of course, even though we weren’t leaving until 2.30pm, we were still woken up at the normal Godforsaken time to do our ablutions after which we chilaxed at hooman dad’s flat watching hooman mum and aunty Karen struggle to load up the mechanical beast with all their crap, however, at least they packed the most important things, our blankie and our food 🍱. At 2.30pm ish hooman mum said a teary 🥲 goodbye to hooman dad which prompted hooman aunty Karen to say to hooman mum “don’t start crying or you’ll set me off”. We were then on our way to the mechanical watery beast and can you believe the hoomans were eating anything they could get their hands on and they had the temerity not to offer us anything, so so rude.
We arrived at the watery vehicle park nice and early after having had to listen to a conversation about the merits of panty liner pads. Let me tell you good people, we are traumatised 😳😳😳
At 10.30pm hooman aunty Karen was taken away to go through a different part of the building which left us and hooman mum in the car alone. Let us tell you, hooman mum didn’t panic much, she panicked a lot especially when she misplaced her passport, shouting to herself “where the f**k is my passport“ only to realise it was on the dashboard. With no further panicking the mechanical beast was searched, not thoroughly because Nacho barked at the hooman customs man who promptly finished the search, much to hooman mums relief because she didn’t want him to open up the back door where we were poised to pounce and rip his throat out.
We were then reunited with hooman aunty Karen ready to board the watery beast and she told us she breezed through passport control and took some time to browse the duty free shops trying on different perfumes. What a difference in the two hoomans, relaxed hooman aunty Karen and stressed hooman mum
On a couple of side notes📝 in Athens mechanical beasts that have an odd last number on their number plate can only travel into the city on odd numbered days and likewise even numbered days are for registration number plates with an even number as their last number 😮

The second side note is when hooman aunty Karen realised her passport had been stolen out of her rucksack 🎒. To watch the hoomans frantically search every single part of hooman Aunty Karen’s bedroom and then her bags not once, but many, many times had me and Nacho sniggering into our paws 🐾
That’s all for todays blog. We’ll tell you about the boarding and disembarkation in tomorrow’s blog.
Sleep well hoomans y hasta mañana
Chico & Nacho

02/11/2022

The boys are about to make their Epic Road Trip back to Spain along with their hooman mum and hooman aunty Karen. Watch out for their daily blog chronicling their journey and please share with your friends.
The Epic Road Trip starts tomorrow…