08/06/2026
To Whom It May Concern,
We are writing to formally advise that we will be unable to attend Traditional Life this year... or next year... or, if we're being completely transparent with you, at any foreseeable point in the future.
Please allow us to explain.
Our first concern relates to the matter of a fixed address. We have been advised that Traditional Life requires participants to select one location and remain there, indefinitely, while paying a sum of money each month for the privilege of staying in the same spot. We have reviewed this arrangement carefully and we're afraid it does not suit our current schedule, as we are typically in a different postcode every few days and find the whole concept of "staying put" to be somewhat at odds with our general direction of travel, which is, at any given time, wherever the road goes next.
We also wish to flag the issue of the wheelie bins.
It has come to our attention that Traditional Life involves placing bins on a kerb on a specific day each week, which requires both a kerb and a consistent awareness of what day it is. We can confirm that we currently have neither.
Regarding the matter of the daily commute... we have given this considerable thought. After six years of waking up and walking approximately four steps to our desk, which is also sometimes a camp table under a paperbark tree in outback Queensland, we find we are simply not in a position to sit in traffic. Not because we are unwilling, but because the Silverado is currently attached to the van and reversing out of a peak hour merge situation would take the better part of a Tuesday.
We also note that Traditional Life comes with something called a "mortgage," which we understand to be a financial arrangement in which you pay for a house for thirty years and then own it, provided nothing goes wrong in the meantime. We looked into this some years ago and ultimately decided to put the money into a caravan and a truck large enough to tow it. If we didn't like where we were, we could simply leave. No complaints... except from the occasional low-clearance car park.
There is also the question of neighbours. Traditional Life involves living in close proximity to the same people for many years, whether or not you enjoy their company. In our current arrangement, we select our neighbours fresh each day. Some have been absolutely wonderful. We have occasionally ended up next to someone running a generator at 10pm, but relocating the following morning requires no body corporate meeting whatsoever.
We would also like to address the matter of the office. Traditional Life appears to involve travelling to a separate building each day to do your work, then travelling back again, then repeating this for the better part of four decades. We currently work from wherever we are, which has included a cliff top on the Nullarbor, a camp chair in the Kimberley, and once, memorably, a servo car park outside Broken Hill because the wifi was surprisingly excellent and a deadline does not care about the scenery.
We do want to acknowledge that Traditional Life has its merits. Consistent shower pressure. Walls that don't move when a road train passes at 3am. We're told the neighbours eventually learn your coffee order, which does sound genuinely lovely.
But after six years on the road... we're not sure we could go back even if we wanted to. And honestly... we don't want to 🫶🏼
Yours sincerely, Two people who are approximately 47 kilometres from the nearest traffic light and couldn't be happier about it 😁
Anyone else written a formal excuse lately? 😜
