01/12/2023
I have been geeking out lately on podcasts featuring Dr. Kristin Neff and her thoughts on Fierce Self Compassion.
As she says, gender socialization can interfere with this very powerful piece of performance. Compassion can be labeled as “feminine”, “soft”, but in her work (and she has studied Olympic athletes), self-compassion can lead to better performance, learning, growth, and better mental health.
As an athlete, I can say with certainty that if I had more self-compassion (which I see as support and teaming with oneself), I would have made another Olympic team. I can clearly recall the moment where I needed to perform and instead of finding the words to support myself, I chose another route. Words lead to action, and I missed the target and missed a spot on the 2004 Olympic team.
From the start of the podcast, Dr. Neff’s words are resonant:
“Human potential means realizing all faces of love. Fierceness without tenderness is hostility and aggressiveness. Tenderness without fierceness is like complacency.”
As with anything, we are on a spectrum of self-compassion. What TYPE of self-compassion do you need in the situation?
👉Harsh inner critic? Maybe self-compassion in the form of kinder words and supporting your needs rather than pushing or grinding.
👉Social justice? Maybe self-compassion means speaking up for your needs and getting more involved or pushing harder.
Whenever we think of concepts like self-compassion, we have to remember that the actions associated are dependent on the situation and your needs. This means, know yourself first, know your environment, and be aware of what action or behavior best fits what your self-compassion needs are in the moment.
Be your own best teammate.